Imagine surfing is an Olympic sport. It probably won’t ever be, but just consider it for moment: think of the possible venues; think of the opening ceremony; think of the nations and the teams. But ultimately Olympic surfing is more than just a pipe dream.
Now think of the podium. Which country is handed the gold? The silver? The bronze? It’s not completely absurd to contemplate, but ultimately what we want to know is: Which country is the best at surfing?
When the flags are raised, will they all be the green and gold of Australia or the stars and bars of the US? I can sense the rants and opinions bubbling to the surface, so let’s first establish how the competition would be run, then see whose getting the gongs.
Olympic Surfing Rules
- Surfing at the Olympics is a team effort, like basketball, in which athletes combine their efforts to outscore opponents. The logistics of scoring are trivial for the moment; all we need to know is that surfing will not be an individual contest like the 100 metre sprint or the javelin.
- Hawaii is not its own country. Certainly in the surfing world being Hawaiian is considered to be its own nationality, but that simply won’t fly at the Olympics. Hawaiians are part of the US.
- Countries are represented by their current athletes at the Olympics – not their past champions. So while the argument about which country has produced the best surfers of all time can be debated until the ice caps melt and high tide ruins every last swell, at least we know which surfers we’re working with for these mental gymnastics.
- If surfing ever was included at the Games, most likely there would be a woman’s event. But in this post, I’ll only be considering men’s competition.
Who takes the Olympic surfing medals?
So which countries get which medals?
Gold – USA.
Not only does the US have the help of the Hawaiian crew like John John, Bruce Irons, and Jamie O’Brien, but isn’t there some guy from Florida? Having Kelly Slater on your surfing team is like having Rooney, Ronaldo, and Casillas on your side.
If this was an individual race, the man unquestionably stands atop the podium. Beyond this, the Americans have Dane Reynolds, the Hobgood brothers, Simpson, Young, etc. I apologize in advance, but until Kelly gives up, the US wins.
Barring some sort of Slater miscue, it seems unlikely any other country could outdo the yanks. Though, if an upset did occur, it would most definitely be at the hands of the country landing in second place…
Silver – Australia.
Travel surfing hotspot and home to awesome breaks. This is a pretty obvious choice. Without Kelly surfing for the States, the Aussie’s would be a safe bet for gold. Australians currently occupy nearly 30% of World Champion Tour, including five of the top ten ranks. Fanning, Kerr, Burrow, Wilson, Parkinson, Wright, Otten.
Their onslaught is next to undefeatable. In no other country is surfing considered a mainstream sport. There’s surf forecasts and updates on the evening news for God’s sake. Australian takes only silver or gold. And for the moment, it’s silver.
The top two are spots are securely locked down. The question is who takes the bronze? Soon enough there’s another surfing holidays favorite that will be knocking on the doors of the ones above it…
Bronze – Brazil.
Gabriel Medina and Adriano De Souza lead the way for this South American powerhouse, but there’s also Heitor Alves, Alejo Muniz, and Miguel Pupo to back them up.
The Brazilians are also dominated the Qualifying Series, and will be heard from more and more in the future. Their surfing is strong and consistently improving. Look to see them making a move as the American hegemony begins to turn over.
Got a difference of opinion on this Olympic surfing hypothetical? Who’s chasing the Brazilians? New Zealand? South Africa? Leave a comment and let me know what you think!
